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Electric blue.

sassychickennugget:

If I’m dating you, you don’t need to get jealous of other people. I am with you, only you. If you ever think I’m flirting with other people, I’m not. There’s a reason why I chose you and only you. I only want you, no one else. You are mine. I am yours.

(via ameliaalice)

Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books.

fleeten:

don’t stare at the moon too long or else you’ll remember that nothing in this stupid fucking world makes sense

(via wevansly)

untexting:

do you wanna have sex?

a) please

b) now

c) a + b

(via manda)

unpresentable:

when you want to transfer your photos from your phone to laptop and you see all the selfies you made….

image

(via mathrockjennyfromtheblock)

roselastrider:

>gettin hot and heavy w/ a girl

>she then tells me to talk dirty

>tell her that 10% of the world’s carbon dioxide emissions are stored in dirt

>she’s still turned on and now she knows a little more about mother earth

>copulate and educate

(via justwaitjustwaitawhile)

As a Muslim, I’m sick of people asking me how I feel about 9/11. What do you want me to say, seriously? Do you want me to say, “It was a great plan, mwahahaha!” before I fly off on a magic carpet?

I was born and raised in this country and was just as shocked as everyone else to learn there were people on this earth so vile as to commit such a horrific attack - or to even think about doing it.

But I didn’t do it. Neither did 99.999999999 percent of the roughly 1.5 billion people in the world who also call themselves Muslims. So why should I or any other Muslim apologize for what happened? Nickleback is planning on releasing another album. Should I ask white people to apologize for that?

sniffing:

i just found out pornhub has a store and my only question is why
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